Confidence can look different from one session to the next. A player may happily try a new turn in practice but hesitate when a defender closes her down in a match. That does not mean the practice was wasted. The situation has changed: there is less time, more uncertainty and often a stronger feeling of being watched. Start by finding out which part feels difficult, then make the next step clear enough to attempt.
Find the situation behind the feeling
“Be more confident” is difficult to act on. Ask where the hesitation happens. Is it receiving with someone behind her, making a mistake in front of teammates, or asking the coach a question? Listen without immediately explaining why she should not worry. Her answer gives you something specific to work with. A player who fears losing possession needs a different conversation from one who does not understand her role. Keep the discussion private if that helps her speak freely.
Choose an action she can control
Replace a broad demand with a small football action. A midfielder might try moving into a passing lane after giving the ball away. A winger might attempt one change of pace when space opens outside. Agree the action with the player rather than announcing a target for her. It should be challenging enough to mean something and manageable enough to try. Success begins with recognising the opportunity and making an attempt; the defender may still win the ball.
Build the challenge gradually
A coach can start with a predictable pass, add a defender who applies light pressure, then move into a small game. The player needs time at each stage to work out what helps. Repeating the easiest version forever will not prepare her for opposition, but moving straight to a crowded game can hide the skill you want her to learn. Adjust space, speed or numbers one at a time. Ask what changed when the task became harder.
Give feedback that explains progress
Useful encouragement names something real: she looked before receiving, tried the turn at a better moment, or offered for the ball again after a mistake. Avoid praising every action identically or promising that she will beat the defender next time. Players can recognise when praise does not match the game. Notice thoughtful decisions as well as successful outcomes. A good choice can fail because the pass was slightly inaccurate or an opponent reacted well.
Keep difficult days in perspective
After a hard match, allow the player to decide when she wants to talk. One performance is a small part of her football experience. If a worry keeps returning, speak with the coach about the situations they see and what support is possible. If the issue is repeated humiliation, exclusion or bullying, take the concern seriously instead of treating it as a confidence exercise. Feeling safe and being treated respectfully come before persuading someone to be braver.
FROM READING TO PLAYING
Something to try
For the next session, let her choose one “I will try” action. Afterwards ask whether she noticed an opportunity, what she tried and what might make the next attempt easier. Do not count every mistake or compare her with a teammate. Keep a short note in her own words so she can recognise changes over several weeks.
Take it into your football
- Identify a specific situation before choosing a target.
- Notice attempts and decisions as well as outcomes.
- Let the player help decide the next step.
Further reading
Explore related guidance from these primary sources. Practice examples and suggested conversations on this page are STAR’s own guidance.
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